gayet wrote:With many questions as to the family's motives for their perceived attitude, I have to wonder if the family's actions are partly a response to some degree of guilt? and an attempt to shift blame from themselves? I do not accuse them of any wrong doing but:
What level of guilt may they feel for not starting a search earlier? There may have been no reason for them to be concerned earlier, so no reason to raise an alarm, yet hindsight can be cruel.
The earlier alarm may have brought about the result desired, but it didn't happen. Do they blame themselves for that, even though it wasn't a fault on their part, having no reason to worry earlier - hence trying to find somewhere or someone else to take the blame?
I believe they do need some help here but I am no counsellor, just some thoughts.
I'm not a counselor either, nor a mind-reader. I do have experience with 'traumatic stress' (hence, a bit "wackt" but I also dearly enjoy the relief, serenity, mind-clearing workout of a good bush-trek). I'm also a Canadian observer and time-in as an volunteer-advocate for disabled veterans. This story peaked my interest as I've had some time on my hands, recovering from injury. The discussions, viewpoints and analysis here have been stimulating.
Being a bit of a 'heart-person' as well, I've been concerned about how the family is fairing and I have respect for many of the good points raised here, covering aspects of SAR, methodology, objectivity, professionals, volunteers, and as well, the critical analysis of social media uses and complications.
Anyway, from a "traumatic stress" perspective, I don't see this as a simple case of grief. It's sudden loss, happening out of no-where, a young fellow, a loved-one. Rocks one's sense of safety in the world, when things appeared to be flowing smoothly. Can be transferred over into feelings of distrust, of anyone involved, commenting of this story, participating in search, authorities, etc. Makes for bias, and selective-attention, because overwhelmed, in shock. Can lead to regression into 'magical thinking' as well, clinging tightly to hope, to cope. Cultural identity of 'victimization' can also be called into play (cultural collective memory, histories of colonialism, class consciousness, etc.) Taking action outwardly is one way to mitigate against overwhelming inwardly feelings of shock, helplessness. Fight/flight/freeze reactions-- they've chosen/responded with fight, take action, do something, can be an intense mode of operating in.
Traumatic-guilt/'survivor guilt'-- regrets, pain of not being there, not being alerted earlier-- but that itself, is not that abnormal for students to not be in contact with family regularly. Unresolved, unaddressed 'survivor guilt' is a concern, for risky behaviours, by loss of objectivity and by whoever else could get pulled in as well to assist, 'shared delusion' (as colinm suggested), non-professionals, not practiced at detachment or others on-side to exploit the situation for financial gains. I'd hope there are SAR-trained supervisors of volunteers and debriefs, per teams-- but are there? I was also concerned with the example of "Search for Prabh" video, like others here.
I happened to witness a twitter exchange a few nights ago, with what appeared to potentially be a member here. From what I observed, I didn't see it as "trolling". What is 'care' and 'support'?-- it's not necessarily going the path of total agreement to what is potentially dangerous conduct, or intepretations of things which can be driving reckless conduct, and/or increasing risks for it.
There could be aversions to counseling, grasping to 'spiritual pride' (for sense of power and control) can be one such form of aversion, likewise, ego, over-estimating one's own talents, abilities. There's also the concern of the social media campaign-- start something like that, can get brainwashed oneself. . . it can happen. I was unfamiliar with Sikh traditions, not a clue actually, but on a 'wiki' search, there are some psychological/spiritual tools which can be tapped into, which could be of benefit, should they choose to meditate, reflect on, for example, concept of Moh (attachment, including attachment to the idea needing to find the body for closure, (opening up to acceptance of the possibility it may not happen. . .?); what attachment to the act of searching can do, what the karmic effects of such actions [e.g. to discern when it's causing ill-health, logical, detached analysis; when to stop; when to 'let go') or Ahankhar which is ego, concerns issues of detachment: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sikh_beliefs. Humans are not perfect, regardless of traditions, it's learning experiences. But the family does seem aware of concept of meditation, meditation opportunities, the attention can also be selective, but how could I know, I don't-- we don't see what they are doing personally, or how often they practice meditation or if they do so that much. The Sikh beliefs are interesting, can recognize some root values, contained in other traditions, and even relate-able to principles which go into our laws, morality, etc.
But that's all just a surface glance. I've had access to Sanskrit meanings, via exposure to meditation teachers, yoga, etc (which have helped out a lot wrt to coping with brain-body deformations from chronic 'traumatic stress', lol).
And I guess a final point, I notice there is a doctor in the family, so he'd be familiar with concepts of 'triage', prioritization, and I'd think would have the cognitive capacity to also relate to issues of objectivity, science, methodology-- but again, with trauma reactions, fight/flight being activated (survival brain-- you can see it how snakes act, other animals-- humans, that biology can affect our thinking, cognitive capacities-- if carrying that stress, not giving stress breaks, meditation breaks to relieve stress, body-stress reactions to traumatic event, for objective, detached views, inner safety). I'd think he would be able to grasp SAR concepts, if he is able to take breaks from stress, to practice detachment views. He may also be aware of limitations of science, philosophy of science matters. But surely, by his own training and experience, he should also be able to understand issues of ethics (one life vs. others; financial constraints in practices, etc.).
I reflect on my own experiences in 'veteran advocacy' and work among the archetype that can manifest as "wounded healers" and the grace it takes to have both heart and to also step away from things to take care of oneself.
I assume the family is reading things from here, given the amount of hits for this topic. It gives a space to express things that can be difficult to express back at their page, (and that format, etc.)without intruding directly on their sense of safety, needing to keep that page safe, idk? This might be even less tolerable here, but as an experiment, I did try the meditation exercise with "Waheguru", with intention of 'sending energies of warmth' to Prabh (way earlier on), seeing candle in "third eye", spontaneous vision came to me, and spontaneous 'conversation' a part of myself came out to speak (not controlled by ego), which said, "you know you're family loves you very much" and a sense he could feel the energy of all the positive prayers happening all at once, and got a spontaneous 'reply', "ya, I know", and I felt a smile, the feeling was warm, light was warm like candlelight in dark, love reflected back to the collective of family, friends, others praying sending warmth, love, 'checking in'. I'm not a 'psychic', trained to avoid the mistake of 'mana', but I thought I'd just share that, as maybe a comforting thought for the families. I didn't sense attachment, longing, I sensed contentment, love (in the universal, expansive sort of way). I tried the meditation the next night, it was gone, 'lost the channel', it was 'gone' maybe, or that was enough. In Indian spiritual traditions there are concepts of liberation, freedom from the cycle of suffering (Mara). I think Prahb would have potential for that, having been a good warrior, loving family, strong individual, pursuing noble pursuits. Again, just positing comforting thoughts towards family.
Psychological explanation, my consciousness brings me comfort to the vicarious pain I feel for the loss and for the families, maybe. . . but it can mean many things, and different things to others (including others, who's patience I have tested here). There's also a concept or tool used in healing from traumatic loss, the use of 'healing metaphors', 'healing stories' (and that also seems reflected in Sikh tradition, collection of stories).
Anyway, preferred to share that 'anonymously', spiritual is personal, sacred (I ask to others here to simply overlook that part, avoid outer judgment ([think/judge as you like privately or in PM); nothing of useful debate on something that is simply subjective experience). I like trees, mountains, lakes, clouds too.
Anyway, this 'babble' is not intended for debate, just offering 'reflective insights', feelings, emotions, as others have here.
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For pragmatic debate: Dogs.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Search_and_rescue_dog
I use wiki, knowing it's limitations, but they're useful for introductory purposes. It seems the family used a SAR dog with "air scent" training -- that means, doesn't require 'tracks' to follow and can be used after track scent is gone, and at later stages in a search, and for possibility of a person moving. Much depends on the dog/trainers specialization and training. Some SAR dogs are also trained in "HRD" as well, so can also detect a deceased person (which continues to emit microbes, etc.). I guess it all depends. Pragmatically, I have no idea how the dogs are about 'snakes'-- would have to be well-trained for that as well (just as a doggy-walker, dogs that chase frogs and such around here, something to play with). Where I hike, we don't have too many poisonous snakes up here-- we got bears, wolves, coyotes, etc. (all amazing creatures
). Your wilderness does look beautiful, part of my interest as well-- some fantastic photography here. All the Best, Cheers.
Cheers 
